African-American Pastors Unite to Revive Marriage and Fatherhood

This just in from the pulpit.

African-American Pastors Unite to Revive Marriage and Fatherhood

Get your zen on...with The Zaftig Life

The banter about skinny jeans and body image issues isn't  likely to settled down anytime soon. But why waste time talking about  counterproductive stuff when you can enjoy who you are, eat well, and live life
to the fullest? That's part of the reasoning behind The Zaftig Life, a new Web  site, blog and brand-in-the-making that caters to women with real curves and real appetites.

Zaftig Life founder Nicci Morris, a career journalist, features editor and self-described "foodie," is all about balance and moderation, fitness  and fun, style and substance.

"I am a voice for every woman who has ever had a love-hate relationship with their genes, their jeans and ice cream, all at the same time," writes Nicci, who has turned her passion for cool food---think Chocolate-Banana-Hazelnut Bread or Pork Chops with White Wine and Caper Sauce---into a following that's
gaining momentum. Fast.

Tune into Nicci's recipes, her take on love/relationships and check out her highly hip style at www.thezaftiglife.com and thezaftiglife.wordpress.com.

It's all good. Really.

"When money is tight it is even more important to remember how many other things we can do to better our world other than just writing a donation check. We make choices in our day to day life that have a tremendous impact on the world around us."

—from Shoppin' With Lovin'

We came across this quote by way of Boom Boom! Cards, an intentional acts of random kindness kit that includes a deck of 26 cards and instructions for doing something nice for someone else. Like what? How about burning a CD or creating a playlist with inspirational music for someone who needs to hear it? Or thanking all of the school secretaries at your kids' school---when it isn't Administrative Assistants Day?

Basically, the deck is stacked so that you can't do anything but good. Each kit comes with an online code where you register your set of cards. As you cross do-good acts off your list---like asking someone who is alone at lunch to join or remembering to hold the door open for a stranger---you do two things. First, let the world know about it via your online Boom Boom! account where your card is 'played' and geographically tracked. And then, you take the Boom Boom! card you just used and leave it for someone else to find. If we all act right, the goodness goes on and on and on.

What's the point? The creators, who worked on the idea for a year before actually launching the cards in early '09 are talking 'bout a revolution. The good kind.

The Boom Boom! team is convinced that there is "a small but growing army of people who are sure that we can re-vision the world we know and create the world we want through simple actions that allow us to reach out and exercise the innate altruism that lives in all of us."

Sounds good to me. Check out their blog, complete with video uploads and discussions of the many, many easy ways we can all do good, and order a deck at the same time.

Revolutionary acts for everyday life: Boom Boom! Cards - $9.99

Doing more with less

From downsizing our supersized appetites for "stuff" to rethinking the many choices that tend to drain our wallets, 2009 has been the Year of Doing More With Less---less money, less time, less fanfare, etc.

But if anything, we've learned that scaling back the way we spend time and money hasn't been that bad afterall. For years I've owned a copy of Dining on a Dime, the how-to recipe treasure by frugalista Tawra Kellam, but only in the last 12 months has it been in such heavy rotation that I actually had to hound a friend to return it to me after I loaned it out.

Anyone looking to offer a meaningful gift while sticking to a tight budget will appreciate Tawra's book which is jam-packed with tips, techniques and innovative ideas on everything from creating homemade (classy, too) gifts for the teacher to how to stretch leftovers in new ways. Check out the book, which goes on sale ocassionally. The Dining on a Dime series is easily one of the best buys you'll ever make.

Gone with the wind

First off, we weren't sure what to expect when Dyson offered us the chance to try out its new DC23 Turbinehead, billed as the latest in "Level 3 Root Cyclone" technology. But once we got going, we quickly realized that's exactly what this 19.5 lb. unit is: a cyclone.

The DC23 Turbinehead seemed a bit bulky when we removed it from the box, but once we put it together---in all of, oh, 30 seconds---it became apparent that this powerful puppy was on a mission to remove all of the dust, debris, pet hair and yucky stuff we didn't even know was ground into the family room carpet. Our black lab's stubborn hair was no match for the 220 air watts of relentless suction. Even though we were tempted to see if our 6-year-old's Star Wars Legos stood a chance, the kid's howls of anguish stopped us before we could suck 'em up.

In addition to the sheer power that the DC23 packs, we could appreciate the additional tools for vacuuming stairs, crevices (don't go there) and the brush tool.

Not easily swayed, this mom---who absolutely hates cleaning---put the Turbinehead to the ultimate test: cleaning the family Sequoia. The verdict? No more trips to the self-serve car wash where the vacuum cleaners never really get the job done. The Turbinehead performed wonders, handling everything from sticky candy bar wrappers and fast-food leftovers to taking out those fine, black rubber granules that come from playing football on a turf field. The tools were especially good at removing gunk sandwiched between seats and beneath the seat-belt receptacles.

The receptacle that holds all the dirt has us promising to do better---there's nothing like having all of that dirt and disgusting stuff trapped in a see-through canister.

If you're already a Dyson fan or consider yourself a household gadget geek, then this is just preaching to the choir. But for naysayers who wonder whether the $399 is worth it, here's the deal: Yes, it's a lot of money, but in an economy where most of us are trying to make the most of every dollar, the Dyson comes with a 5-year warranty, their technical support is terrific and you can't beat the cleaning job that a Dyson does. Hands down, Dyson makes the best. Period. Washing the filter (there are no bags) takes only a few minutes a month and for those of us whose kids often end up wheezing and carrying on as we dust and clean, the unit is certified asthma & allergy friendly™.

---Gail H. Towns

Sweet memories

Who says kids have to wait until Halloween to get their fill of sweet treats? Not the kid-friendly manufacturers behind the coolest USB flash drive we’ve ever seen. Back-to-school shoppers will get rush from the new Hershey’s Miniatures-inspired memory sticks that pack anywhere from 1GB to 4 GB of school projects, reports, research presentations, video, slideshows and so on. Depending on your kid’s personality---and sweet tooth---check out the USB drives that look like mini versions of milk chocolate bars, Krackel, and Mr. Goodbar. Twizzler and Bubble Yum look-alikes also are available. Priced from $14.99 to $29.99 at Best Buy.

Luxe look worth the price

News about the economy has many would-be shopaholics in a funk, but every now and then, we all come across an item or two that makes us wanna splurge. I'm all about saving money, cutting corners and putting cash away for (the next) rainy day. But no good girl should go unrewarded. So if you're doing due diligence by cutting back on your daily soy latte or finding 99 ways to reinvent chicken, then just maybe you'll enjoy Elspeth's luscious leather handbags without any guilt.

There are those among us who are constantly in search of the perfect purse and the soft, indulgent and stylish line from designer Elizabeth Phillips does not disappoint. In her own words: "I wanted to design a collection that transcends cultural fads,” says Elizabeth. “ELSPETH handbags are functional fashion; designed for the contemporary woman offering versatility and convenience with unmatched style.”

We couldn't have said it better. The company loaned us the roomy East Village Tote, which is available in magenta, dark teal, silver grey and chocolate. At $342 MSRP, it's definitely a purchase you'll want to think through. But it feels wonderful on the shoulder and is drop-dead gorgeous with its oxidized brass hardware on the outside, striking stitching and spacious interior pockets. Works well as a daily handbag or as an all-purpose piece that is perfect for work and casual outings. And did we say that it's indeed a head turner? The kind of bag that makes strange women dare to ask, "Where'd you get that? Who's it by?"

See for yourself at elspethnyc.com. The bag is available this August and pre-orders are being taken online.

It's in the bag

Homemade Simple offers excellent tips on making cool totes for friends interesting in everything from bargain shopping to beach outings. Image by massdistraction via Flickr

It was bad enough being covered up by junk mail in real life, but now it seems, my email inbox is flooded with stuff I neither want to read or need to have.

And I'm not talking about crazy spam, porn or foreign lottery winners who want to borrow my bank account. My box is full o' stuff that I signed up for---coupon alerts, e-newsletters and umpteen Twitter, Facebook, Flickr and RSS alerts.

But every now and then I'll come across something so absolutely delightful, appealing and worth sharing that I quit all my moaning and groaning.

Enter Homemade Simple, the mostly useful P&G-backed e-zine that offers helpful, if not entertaining, information on everything from household organization to effective ways of clearing the cluttered mind.

What's so cool in their latest edition? Homemade Simple writers offer cool ideas for gift bags/baskets that friends might like. My favorite source on this topic is Tawra Kellam's Dining on a Dime Cookbook, but I couldn't resist sharing this HS article on Totes to Go---ways to create a gift bag for bargain hunters. Their suggestion follows:

A Bargain Hunter’s Bag---From Homemade Simple
Some people just have a knack for finding the best deals. If that’s your friend, then we’ve got the perfect way to make her shopping even more fun and easy. This bag will help keep everything she needs for hunting down a great buy, plus it provides room for carrying her finds. When choosing a bag, look for a large durable, canvas tote with thick straps so it’s comfortable to carry. Here are some things to consider including:

• Make list-writing simple with a pen and a small notebook that she can keep in her shopping bag.
• A small accordion folder can help her keep coupons organized.
• Include a small, inexpensive calculator for adding up her savings.
• Consider tossing in a few extra foldable bags for bigger shopping trips.
• To make it extra special, include a gift card or two to your friend’s favorite stores inside a charming, inexpensive change purse.
  

Keep reading

• Your Inbox Is Full: Managing Email Overload (blogs.wsj.com)
• Too many tote bags? Here are 3 ways to recycle them (timesunion.com)
• DIY Gift Bags: Save money by reusing newspapers (queercents.com)

Creative Thinking: Your Edge

For all you creative types who color outside the lines, Australian writer/business coach Joanna Maxwell has put together a simple, provocative and highly cool slideshow that will make you think. Hard.

If you like it, pass it on.

Creative Thinking: Your Edge

View more presentations from Joanna Maxwell.

Great coupon tips & techniques

ShopSmart magazine, published by Consumer Reports, is at it again with more coupon tips and techniques.

I'm especially psyched about their additional strategies: During a grocery run last week, I watched the cash register ring backward from $142 down to $100.18 after coupons and loyalty-card discounts. Whoo-hoo!

I'm hardly an expert coupon-clipper, but I do my fair share of cutting and clipping, comparing prices, doubling/tripling coupon values on top of sales and trolling frugal mom sites for deals.

But other techniques--like removing wrappers from soup cans to see if there's a coupon printed on the other side or remembering to take automated coupons from electronic aisle dispensers--carry the promise of helping us save even more.

While the cover price of ShopSmart can put a hurtin' on your budget if magazine purchases are a luxury (they are around here), editors were kind enough to post the feature story as a downloadable PDF.

Happy reading---and saving!

Blast off!

When it comes to the latest pool toys from Prime Time International, we've only got three things to say:

Fear the foam.

We found the Max Liquidator line of lightweight, brightly colored foam toys would be an instant hit with kids (think Super Soaker-level water streams) and parents (think cheap!) alike.

Kids looking to escape the early summer heat were especially fond of Blaster Board (about $19.99), a kickboard-shaped shield that houses a giant squirt gun mechanism inside.

What happens when you put all of that action together? Squeals of fun and frenzy at the same time. The company also shipped us a couple of other toys to throw into the mix, including a shark-shaped Monster Blaster that spews water up to 30 feet ($5.99) and the smaller-sized HydroBlaster Pro ($9.99).

We especially liked that the foam toys were gender-neutral, easy to use, colorful and offered a little creative flair for otherwise boring downtime in the water. The fact that they are so affordable sent us to the store looking for a few for the neighbor's kids as well!

Check them out at Kmart, King Arthur's Court and other retailers. Read more at www.primetimetoys.com

Good folks, good food, good book

You know it's a good recipe book when the stories leap off the page and the pictures send you running to the store to buy any and everything in sight.

That was the case when we opened up Lari Robling's "Endangered Recipes: Too Good to be Forgotten." ($17.95, Stewart, Tabori & Chang) The Philadelphia News columnist and public radio contributor knows good food--and good people. The writing was so good that we sat outside on the porch---in 90 degree weather--ooohing and aaahing over it all.

Sunday dinner recipes for crab cakes (yes, Maryland-style, thank you) and Georgia Pecan Pie had our mouths watering. And the striking food photography by Mark Thomas is enough to make you gain 10 lbs. while just flipping the pages.

Robling's wonderful tone makes the stories accompanying these recipes from everyday people--folks she's met through the years--as authentic and real as the instructions handed down from our own grandmothers, aunts and uncles.

"Kitchen Wisdom," a collection of true-to-life tips on everything from how to grind pork butt to the best way to store marshmallows, will stick to you like a plate of good down-home BBQ ribs.

Here's a book that leave you hungry for seconds. Yum!

THE TAKEAWAY: Excellent recipes---many familiar, others worth stepping out of your comfort zone. We've got one copy of Endangered Recipes: Too Good to Be Forgotten to give away at random. How can you make it yours? Dish about your family's favorites via e-mail to productmom at gmail dot com; on Twitter @Tweetymama or leave a note for me here. Giveaway expires 5-21-09.

A Mother-Daughter Moment

Sometimes the best things in life are free....like spending an afternoon with the kids at the beach, running from the waves and scraping sand from between our toes. Makes being a mom look like fun!

Sigh...what a good read

So good, so sad

Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo really gave me pause. Not only will it leaving you thinking about the past, but if you're under 60 or so, you'll think hard about your future, too.

I'll admit it though: The first 150 pages or so were slow as molasses. I was looking forward to the couple's trip to Italy almost as much as they were, only to learn---through patience and thoughtful introspection---that this book is hardly about the physical journeys we make. Instead, author Richard Russo takes us on a journey that spans a lifetime in terms of people, a town, and the ebb and flow of all the things that drive our choices in this life.

Of course I saw a bit of myself in Lucy---ever the idealist, the person who wants (dare I say, needs) to see the good in all people, all the time. And a bit in his wife, too, as the woman who refuses to wonder aloud, "What if. . . ?" for fear of not appreciating the good---albeit predictable---life she's chosen.

Russo is a genius at character development and casting multiple voices that all seem to make sense without leaving the reader dazed or confused. No matter your age, race, economic status or geographic location, this book has something for everyone.

Ya think?

I love social networking as much the next person, and if I didn't have to feed the fam or put on a load of whites, I'd spend the whole day frittering away my time on Facebook and Twitter, and uh, Blogger, socializing....

While all respect the power of IM, text and other social media, most of us know better than to use it irresponsibly. That's why I think Elmhust, Ill., school officials have the right idea. The temptation to blur the lines between work and home, friend and colleague---even student and instructor----is something we all have to watch.

While teaching at the University of Cincinnati, I got "friend" requests from a few of my students who found my Twitter and Facebook pages. But it was only after the semester was over and grades were given that pushed the button to "confirm."

That only makes sense, right? 

I won't complain

I admit it. I hate taking the kids along for trips to the grocery store. Or the dry cleaners. And you can add the beauty salon, post office, convenience store and other non-kid-friendly places to that list.

But recent events in Cincinnati give all of us who have ever left a kid in the car---even momentarily---pause. The Aug. 23 story about a middle school assistant principal who forgot her 2-year-old in a hot car all day as she worked to prepare for the first day of classes is still the talk of the town.

"What was she thinking?"

"You cannot forget a two-year-old in the car. I don't care what she says."

"Something's not right about this. She probably meant to go back and take the kid to daycare and forgot."

Those are just some of barbs I heard tossed around in beauty shops, at the soccer field and beside the neighborhood pool.

Brenda Nesselroad Slaby's little girl is gone, but it isn't too late for those of us with small children to think twice about the inconveniences we incur when having to remove them from their car seats---yes, I know, I know how much we want them to stay asleep or be quiet---when we park our cars or run into a building for "just a few minutes."

It isn't too late for those of us who despise going in for a gallon milk to think twice about taking the kids in with us, just one more time.

I was in Pizza Hut the other night picking up dinner and saw a baby in an infant carrier placed just beneath the cash register. I was curious and asked a delivery driver what was up.

"Her mom is working the grill line tonight," the driver said. "She's only six weeks old, but her mother had to work."

The point here is not only about leaving little ones unattended, but rather about the thoughtful consideration we should give to the tough choices moms make. Stories like Slaby's and the countless other day-to-day experiences we see, have or hear about should be fodder for constructive conversation.

When stories like this arise in conversation, engage others to talk about ways we can support moms and families.

Ways to back-up an overwhelmed parent trying to give their job 100 percent while being there--physically and mentally--for the family, too.

Ways to help and heal.

In case of emergency . . .

. . . Call mom.

That's basically what happens when things go awry in our kids' lives, according new findings from the University of Cincinnati.

While we all recognize that dads are helping out more than ever before and that times are a'changing, some things remain the same: Women are more likely to leave their jobs to attend to their children.

If you're mom working outside the home (or at home for that matter), you already know this. You're probably the one who gets the call when the baby's temp spikes to 99.9 degrees and you drop everything you're doing to go pick him up. Or when your finicky fourth-grader skips breakfast and gets so dizzy that he's sent to the school nurse who says she has to be picked up and fed a full plate of protein. Now.

UC sociologist David Maume examined data from The National Study of the Changing Workforce and found that more than 77 percent of women vs. 26.5 percent of men leave work when child-related emergencies come up. Maume gives considerable context to the disparity, and notes that men who have more tenure on the job are probably more likely to be able to leave. Women, meanwhile, find workaround solutions to cover both work and child issues---a topic I tackled last month in a story for the Hamilton Journal-News.

If you've ever e-mailed your work from your desk to your house, downloaded an important file to your Blackberry to look at later, or thrown everything except the break room sink into a bag and took off with the promise of, "I'll check in later. . .," then you know exactly what Maume means. You've nursed a newborn on your lap while meeting publication deadlines for the annual report. Or maybe you closed a deal with a client by phone and simultaneously juggled call-waiting with the pediatrician's office on the other line.

It's not easy, but you get it done. And you do it well.

So, the next time there's an emergency, make sure your cellphone is on. We'll be calling you.

A Mother's Divine Comedy

This just in from a friend in Kalamazoo, Mich. Every mom (and anyone else not quite ready for the week ahead) could use a laugh every now and then—especially on Monday.

According to my friend, the following offers an LOL moment courtesy of a group of second grade children, although we suspect there may be a little mom-biased brainwashing going on here. The youngsters who responded were asked:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair
and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

What's the difference between Moms & Dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home -- & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom,
what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Hope this list made you smile. If it did, feel free to pass it on.

Time for parents to get schooled

We're close. Very close. As in 'Ohmygosh where did the summer go and how will I get the kids ready for school next week?' close.

Here in the Cincinnati area, our brood heads back to class in a few days and as usual, I've got grand ideas about how to make this school term better than the last.

Part of the master plan has to do with getting---and staying---organized. Although I've written about this subject in the past and interviewed plenty 'o' moms who seem to have it altogether, I'm constantly in search of the perfect tip or the ultimate suggestion.

A friend recently forwarded me a quick list from a N.J. woman who works in corporate circles by day, runs an event planning outfit on the side and manages to be a good mommy all at the same time.

Toyi Ward, whose business was recently featured in the New York Times in a story about kids' birthday party trends, shared with me her tips on how to manage the daily balancing act:

• Use grocery delivery if it's available in your area
• Cook all the meat/main dishes for the week on Sunday afternoon, then
  during the week you only have to make sides.
• Uncle Ben's 90 second microwave rice
• Frozen veggies steamed in microwave
• Combine bathtime and storytime
• Make ordering pizza and a movie as standard on Fridays so that you
  get a chance to unwind from the work week
• Drop a load of laundry in the morning before going to work, put in dry
  when you return.
• And if you travel on business, before you leave kiss pillow cases with bright
  lipstick. Send airport post card to as soon as you arrive to hotel.
  

Got great ideas to share with the rest of us who are still trying to get it together? Let me hear from you.

What was I thinking?

Your thoughts matter

I've been threatening to enter the blogosphere for years, but until now, never thought I had anything worthy of sharing.

But as a veteran journalist turned stay-at-home mom to three kids 8 and under, I realize that now, more than ever before, I've got plenty to say.

And so do you.

Enter Those Who Think, Ink.

Back in the day---also known as "Life Before Kids"---I never thought twice about working late, staying up all night partying or blowing half a paycheck on a new pair of Stuart Weitzman's. And once marriage and motherhood came on the scene, I didn't expect life to change all that much. Reasonable, right?

Wrong. Really, really wrong.

Now, keeping it all together means more than having the right earrings to go with the shirt I just happened to "pick up the other day" at Nordstrom's. Or having time to change into a new outfit before that mixer after work. Or managing to squeeze in a pedicure while I polish off a PowerPoint presentation during lunch.

For those of us choosing the path through parenthood, keeping it together often means finding time to connect--intellectually and emotionally--with our kids without putting ourselves to sleep as we read bedtime stories. Or having enough energy to truly enjoy our spouses (yes, that means sex and so much more) when we settle in each evening. And it means being able to thoughtfully sift through all of the research, news reports, anecdotes, hearsay and Other Stuff that tends to influence our choices and our children.

At Those Who Think, Ink, I'll have my say on the many topics the intersect that lives of my family and those like us: What's new on the market for families and parents, trendspotting and resources out there for busy moms and dads and links to the latest in useful news, recent studies, Web content, music & books and a whole lot more.

And it won't always be so serious. Look out for my rants and raves, as well as links to my newspaper articles, on everything from the Purgatory-esque task of grocery shopping with the kids to recent trends in birthday party rebellions.

So come on back and sit awhile. I'm glad you stopped by.